"It was a hot night in the little community on the bluffs. The kind of heat that makes you sweat in puddles," the P.I. said.
"Are we just going to sit in your office all evening?," I asked.
Emily just sat at her desk and looked straight ahead as if I weren't there.
"There was a fly buzzing her head and P.I. Graves was going to kill it if it interrupted her train of thought again."
To explain; Emily has allowed me to observe her for the evening under the condition that I'm "not really there." She would go on about her life and I would merely observe and take notes. Plus, I knew she was going to put on a show for me so it was gonna be a lot of fun.
"It was possibly going to be the biggest case of her young and sexy life...," she continued, and pulled out her note pad. "The Case of the Tiny Little Cheating Witch," she wrote and said out loud at the same time.
"I know she's fucking that blonde," she wrote and said again, "All I have to do..."
To which I interrupted, "I'll leave! It's not funny."
She tore off the sheet of paper she was writing on, thought a minute, then said and wrote, "The Case of the Conniving Blonde."
I stood up and started walking towards her office door.
"Okay, okay! Dammit," she said and tore off the second sheet. "But I've been suffering from a lack of good cases since I got home."
"What about the Donkey Dick case," I asked.
"Solved," she said and smiled.
"Hey! What's with the smile?" I yelled.
"I didn't touch it or anything," she assured me, then, "Wanna see?," she said pulling out her phone. After pushing a few buttons the pic of Danny's penis came up and...
"Hey, don't P.I.'s go to the bar and then suddenly, over a glass of bourbon, a case drops into their laps?," I asked.
She smiled, "Bourbon it is then!" Then she went back into her dialogue, "P.I. Graves had worked hard over the last few weeks. One night, she thought, just one night I'm gonna take things a little easy. There's this cute brunette that runs the bar around the corner... Maybe I'll go see her, P.I. Graves thought."
Then she got up and after throwing her trench coat and fedora on, walked out the door, shutting it behind her. I got up and followed, finding her waiting for me in the hall.
"P.I. Graves stopped at the top of the stairs on her way out... For no particular reason." Then she started down the stairs.
"I'm not going to write down all your dialoguing," I said following her.
We walked through the store making our way out. Emily in her trench and me scribbling in my pad. Laura and Jesca were there and my sister commented, "They're playing P.I. and reporter again."
To which Emily responded with a pointed finger and, "One day, young lady, I'm going to take you back in that interrogation room and give you thorough work over," then walked out the door. As I followed I heard Jesca behind me yelling, "Why did you smile when she said that!"
I've actually spent very little time at the community center since the end of February, and rarely at all since Emily returned to us.
After we got there...
"P.I. Graves looked around the dark, smoke filled room for someone, anyone she knew," Emily dialogued... "Then decided to take a seat alone at the bar."
I sat next to her as Jacob, who was tending bar, asked us what we were having.
"Bourbon," replied the P.I.
Which caused Jacob to laugh and ask, "No, really. What do you want?"
"I'll get it," I told him then walked behind the bar. "Whadda you want, sweety?"
She gave me a look.
"I mean, what'll it be, P.I. Graves?" I added.
"Do I have to spell it for you, ya dumb dame? B-U-R... Okay, I can't spell it. Just give me a whiskey on the rocks," she said.
"You don't really want whiskey, do you?," I asked the NON-liqueur drinker. (Only beer and wine mostly.)
She reached behind the bar and grabbed a drink glass then put it on the counter top. Then she pointed her finger to the middle of the glass, "Ice.," she said, then pointed her finger nearer the bottom of the glass and said, "Whiskey. In that order."
"P.I. Graves pulled her fedora down to cover her eyes and turned to look out over the patrons of the bar that night," she said. "Something smells fishy."
So, knowing she wouldn't drink it, I poured her whiskey and me a mountain dew then sat next to her at the bar. She sat staring and talking about herself for the better part of twenty minutes. I just sat there listening, jotting things down and watching tv when a commercial came on that I liked.
Finally she picked up the drink, swigged it down, then got up and walked away.
"What the fuck???" I thought.
She got about three feet away then starts gagging and drops to the floor slapping her chest then she rolls onto her back and starts breathing really hard. So I rush over with my mountain dew and gave her a drink.
"Why'd you drink it, dummy?" I laughed.
She lay back down on the floor and started laughing her ass off. "I didn't know it would taste like THAT," she laughed. Then, "Am I gonna be drunk now?" still laughing, everyone staring at her.
She started to get up and yelled, "Pay no attention, people. I'm on a case." Which got a few waves and a lot of smiles and laughs from the crowd.
"People use to think I was crazy when I acted like this in public," I stated, "but look at them. They love you when you do it!"
"`Cause I'm so cute," she replied and rubbed her nose against mine, then, "Hey, there's Lora."
I turned around and the first words out of my mouth were, "That's not Lora." We both watched the girl Emily thought was Lora bus tables for a few minutes in kind of astonishment about how much she looked like Lora.
Then Lora came out from the kitchen and walked right over to the girl and started talking to her. We couldn't really believe what we were seeing. It was like, Lora...and mini-Lora.
To be continued...
Special Note; This month marks the fifth anniversary of Sara's Darkness. I have something special planned!