Welcome to my darkness. If you've come to condemn or are offended by the insanity at this blog then GO AWAY! Your God doesn't live here!
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4/28/05

So...

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I've been having dreams about someone I know online. The dreams are kinda emotional and one was VERY erotic.Image hosted by Photobucket.com I talked to Lora about it right away and she has no problem with it because we can't really control whom we dream about.
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I've told Lora in the past that I would like very much to visit this person because in my eyes we're a lot alike and would probably get along extremely well. Now I'm thinking that shouldn't happen because of the dream. I don't know how this person would feel about it but most likely if I visited we would end up having a torrid affaid that would leave us both breathless for a long time.
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I like the dreams but wish they would stop. I don't like having this desire inside me that can't be fulfilled. It makes a hole. I have enough holes.
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I should stop now. I have things to do, places to go and people to eat.
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Here's some more mp3s if anyone is interested.
http://www.archive.org/audio/etree.php
I'm up alllllll night tonight so I might be posting some more later.

~Sara<3

4/27/05

Check this out!

4/26/05

Whoooooooooo!

Sorry I haven't posted my camping tale yet. It's a looooong story and I've been pretty busy. I'll definately be posting it very soon. Right now I'm trying to finish his Von Erich thing I've been working on for the Benbo.

LOOK! 622 music videos! http://granfaro.blogspot.com/2005/04/622-music-videos-various-from-perfect.html

4/25/05

I...went...CAMPING!!!

YAY! I LOVE CAMPING!!!!!

Lora thought it would do me some good to do one of the things I love doing most. So we grabbed a bunch of people and took off to Misouri. I have an extremely fun/adventurious/exciting and slightly weird tale to tell.

I'll have it posted sometime tonight.

~Sara<3

4/22/05

sorry

I'll be going offline for awhile. I'm having problems again and I need to get my head straight. I know this happens way too often but I'll try to be back as soon as I can.

~Sara

Unwell

I don't feel well tonight.

The wires in my feet are trying to grow into the floor so I have to keep moving them and it's getting annoying as heck. Every time I forget, three or four of them poke thru my skin and I have to jerk my foot free before they anchor themselves too well.

Warm weather brings the coyotes out and they're howling tonight. More like whining, I guess. They never come too close to the community but still close enough for me to hear them.

I can't type any more. Time is a flaggeristic walla-walla and there's balm in galied.

I'm into nothingness. :(

4/20/05

Hey Catgirl!

Are you still locked out of my board? "HELL" is password protected but the top forum should be open for you now.

~Sara<3

4/19/05

...

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4/18/05

Can't think straight tonight

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It's hot and humid and there are insects outside my window screaming in the darkness. Lora is away and that makes it far too quiet.
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Deadgrandma is sitting on the floor at my feet and she keeps touching me with her long dead fingernails. She keeps trying to lay her rotting head in my lap, repeating over and over, "Grandma just wants you to rub her hair," but there's maggots tangled in it and even when I just reach down to push her away they fall out and land on my leg, squirming frantically trying to find more dead flesh to eat.
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The wallgnomes, whom I haven't seen since they upped my meds in January, have come out and are dancing and singing on my desk. I yell at them and they run away to hide behind my computer screen but are very shortly back dancing on my desk again.
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I wouldn't mind them so much but they must have killed a field rat today because there's blood all over them and they're leaving little bloody footprints all over the place. (I have to remember to clean them up before Lora gets home cause last time she pretended she couldn't see them and it kinda freaked me out.)
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Now one of them is sitting right on the edge of my desk, dangling his feet over the side and talking to me like we're old friends or something. I do NOT speak wallgnome and it's little voice is SO irritating and almost violent sounding.
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Every once inna while a HUGE drip of snot will start to leak out of it's nose but as soon as it reaches it's upper lip the wallgnome sucks it back up then licks the leftovers off. Afterward it looks at me and smiles, like it's funny.
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The little yellow one doesn't come around anymore since I caught it masterbating in my panty hamper. I think the insects are getting louder.
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Another odd thing that's been happening; I've noticed that the smileys at the Bendis Board are acting strange. They keep switching places and even expressions. One minute a smiley is smirking, the next it's got a angry face. And I swear, I thought I saw one of them whispering to another while looking at me out the corner of it's eye. They think I don't notice these things but I do!
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Lora will be home around midnight. She went with the Lesbo Brigade to see Ammityville Horror. I would have went with them but I've been unwell lately and the last thing I need to do is see THAT movie. Not too sure what state of mind it would put me in. I couldn't explain this to Lora so I just told her I wanted to stay home and watch Monday Night RAW!
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Monster head started calling for me from the spare bedroom. Dead grandma got up off the floor,(FINALLY!) went to my bedroom door, and yelled at him to shut up. Now she's walking down the hallway to where he's at to argue with him. I'm glad. It takes her mind off tormenting me. Now if my cat would come upstairs and chase these damn annoying wallgnomes away things would be good again.
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I'm going to get offline for awhile. I have an hour to try to pick the lock on the knife drawer in the kitchen. I've been unsuccessful so far but in time I'll figure out how to do it. They can't keep me away from them. I use to go next door to my step-dad's house but he started locking his knives up long ago.

Annalara lives close but she watches me whenever I come over. Once I was sitting at her kitchen table talking to her whilst she peeled potatos, she got up to rince the peeled potatos off taking her knife with her and leaving it in the sink. She turned around and started talking to me then stopped, and I'm guessing early senility set in cause she forgot she lay the knife in the sink and said, "Sara, what did you do with that knife," like I was going to take it or something.
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I just thought that was SO very, very wrong.
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4/17/05

My message board...

...is officially REOPENED! http://p203.ezboard.com/bsarasstuff
Check it out(Make sure you scroll down to the bottom of the page to see everything.)and leave me a message. I'll sill be posting here regularly but the message board is for things hat might be too extreme for the public.

~Sara<3

4/13/05

not sane

I think I'm truly having problems. I was telling someone a story about something Lora and I did when Lora whispered into my ear, "That never happened, it was a dream you had."

It was only then that I DID remember it was a dream and didn't really happen. I've never had that experiance before and it's got me feeling very confused. I tried posting at the Benbo Monday night during RAW and kept getting distracted so I just stopped.

My mind gets on the wrong track sometimes and I get lost a little but NEVER have I mistaken a dream for reality. :( Hopefully it's just a one time thing.

Oh, and LOOK! More free mp3s! :)
http://kandm.dyndns.org/media/Music/MP3/

4/5/05

Through the years

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I need to rant.

Set the mood...
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Lora is sleeping in the bed behind me. Every once in a while she'll shift and I can hear her skin slide against the fresh, cold sheets. She smiles a lot in her sleep and when I watch her it makes me wonder what she's dreaming. I don't WATCH her INTENTLY. That would be crazy. But when all the lights are out like now and she's lit up by the computer screen, wearing nothing but a t-shirt because she hates to wear panties to bed, she looks like an angel glowing against the dark blue sheets.

When I first met Lora we were both in the 8th grade. Last year of jr high school. I was EiC of the school newspaper and Lora had joined the staff that year. She was such a dork. Her hair was never combed and she always wore this big welfare lookin' dark blue eskimo coat with what looked like dog fur around the hood. She was almost the exact image of the basketcase from the Breakfast Club.

I was always the friendless nerdy four-eyed freak of the school, but I kinda think Lora was even lower in the pecking order than me. Especially after she was sent home with head lice.

It wasn't till 10th grade when she told me she had a crush on me. (She did it in the sweetest way. If anyone is interest just say so and I'll post the URL to my rants from when I first started getting online and ranting.)

These pics are from right after we got together.
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Over the last nearly three and a half years she has just gotten sexier...
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And sexier...
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And DAMN sexier!
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(These pics will probably be removed as soon as Lora sees them.)

Lora was actually my third girl on girl experiance. The first was of course, with my bestest bud growing up, Catherine MontClair. I have a good pic of us together in and earlier post. This is her standing in front of her house (prom night, I think.) last year before she went away to college.
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If you look to your left, you'll see the house I grew up in from the time I was 8. That's the house where my horsie Wyldwynd lives. (Out back in the stables.)

Now if you'll look on the right side of the pic, you'll see where I live now. My deadgrandma's house. Kayte's head is blocking Annalara's house, which sits back further than mine.
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Blah, blah, blah. Anyways. I've probably posted these before but this is me in my Wiccan Circle Gown.
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And here are some more pics of Quincy...
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This is the Tin Duster Ralley at Morman Park.
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Our dining room window at night.
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My desktop.
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LOOK! MOONSPIDER! Or maybe that's just how I see him.
Okay, now about the party Friday night.
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By 10pm I was drunk. I drank three rum and cokes and felt so good that when we ran out of rum I started drinking beer. I hate beer but it was either that, whiskey or wine coolers. Whiskey woulda had me trying to fuck everyone in the house and wine coolers are for fags.
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All night I had noticed three distinctive things happening.

1) Matt and Jimmy had been tiffin' since they arrived. These gys had been a couple for a LONG time and instead of fighting when they got mad at each other they would just pick and insult. Nobody wanted to be in the same room as these guys last night when they were together because they started to get drunk and thus louder as time passed.

2) These three bull dyke lookin' girls were checking me out. First with smiles, then dirty looks started coming my way. I'm thinking that when they found out I was with Lora they started hating on me.

3) The upstairs, tho supposedly offlimits, had a steady stream of traffic.
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(Republicans. :) )
I'll try not to make this too long.

At about midnight, Matt and Jimmy were VERY drunk and fighting. They did most of it in the kitchen away from the party but everyone could still hear them and the party started to break up because of it.
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Tammy(It was her house.)went into the kitchen to tell the guys they had to leave. Jimmy(The faggier of the two.) yelled, "SEE WHAT YOU DID! SEE WHAT YOU DID, M'FER!" Then there was a lot of loud crashed and Tammy came running out of the kitch as everybody else was running into the kitchen. (It was about this time I lost my camera so no pics of that.)

So these guys are in the kitchen yelling and fighting and girly screaming, a bunch of people are in the kitchen trying to break it up, more people are blocking the doorway, and Sara in standing behind them all trying not to get in the way. I turned around to look for my beer and two of the three bull dykes were standing there blcking my way.

One said, "What did you say about my girlfriend, BITCH!"
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Now, I'm 5'1 and barely 105 pounds. And I'm SO totally weak and NOT a fighter. I've been in four fights in my life and they all basically consisted of me getting my butt kicked. And with ease at that. So when these big girls fronted me off like that I did what I usually do.

I yelled for Lora.

But Lora, trying to do her part to save the world as usual, was in the damn kitchen trying to help break Matt and Jimmy up. So I turned around and started trying to push my way thru the crowd.

Thats when Matt and Jimmy started fighting thru the crowd the opposite way. Coming right at me. About a dozen people, me included, hit the floor.

A bunch of guys that had been upstairs came running down and grabbed Matt and Jimmy and forced them outside. (Tammy had ran up there to get them when the fight started.) So everybody started going outside after them. Everybody except me. I started toward the kitchen to see what kind of mess they caused. (Tammy's kitchen was totally wrecked.) When I started to come back out of the kitchen all three of the bull dykes were right there by the dining room table.

"Ain't cho name Sara Poe?" One asked me in her I-trying -to-sound-street voice. So drunk Sara says, "What about it!" (I was REALLY drunk.) She answered, "Dayum, you ain't gotta get shitty bitch!"
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Now, I was getting ready to kick her ass,(Or most likely she would have hit me and I would have bled.) That's when Matt came back in. His shirt was ripped, his hair mussed up, his make-up was smeared all over his face from punches and crying, and he SCREAMED at the bull dyke bitch, "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT WITH HER, BITCH! YOU FUCKIN' TOUCH HER AND I'LL KILL YOU YOU FUCKIN WHITE TRASH BITCH!"

Then he punched her right in the face!

Jimmy came slammin' thru the front door, about five guys chasing him, and ran at Matt screaming, "YOU DICK SUCKING FAGGOT! I FUCKING HATE YOU, M'FER!" He bum rushed Matt and grabbed him by the throat. They both fell on the floor with Jimmy cchoking Matt and Matt pulling Jimmy's hair and making gurgling noises.

There were like, TEN GUYS trying to pull the two apart. (TEN GUYS and LORA! I swear, my baby is only 5'2 and about 120 pounds but she was right in there grabbing Jimmy's arm so he didn't choke Matt to death.)

Okay, so eventually after a few minutes they managed to get the guys outside again. I went with this time so as not to get the face punched by what was probably a very anger bull dyke.

So we're out there maybe five minutes and here come two cop cars.

Some idiot yelled, "It's the cops! RUN!"

Us even BIGGER idiots all ran.

There were costumed queers running in all directions. Looking back at the visual it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen!
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I ran, following two of Lora's lesbo brigade, for two blocks. The three of us ended up in an alley just north of County Market(A twenty-four hour grocery store.)hiding between two garages. They were both wearing Mulon Rouge costumes(All of the brigade except Lora dressed alike.)and I was wearing my strappys, a long skirt and a string bikini top. (Decided not to go topless.)
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The good thing was that we were all drunk so if it was cold we didn't notice.

We made the decision to go to County Market to call Tammy's house to see what was happening. It was late so we thought there would be no people out. WRONG! There were lots of people out and we got paranoid that the cops were looking for us. We managed to beg for fifty cents(None of has a place to carry money.) and called Tammy.

"Come on back, " she said. "The cops took Jimmy and Matt to jail and almost everybody else went home. But we're still partying and Lora is walking down 24th street looking for you."

So the three of us headed back up 24th street and met Lora after about a block. I made them walk back to County Market because I had the munchies. That's when I found the Almond Joy flavored chocolate potato chips and ate two things of them before we got back to Tammy's house.
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I threw them up later all over our bathroom.

So we get back to Tammy's and thee still about ten people there. After a few minutes one of the guys says to Tammy, "Hey, that's still upstairs if you want some." So she invited the remainder of us upstairs to I suppose partake of whatever they were doing.

It was COCAIN!

I've never done coke and didn't do it Friday night either. Neither did Lora. But most everyone else was. (I did manage to ask about the three bull dykes during this time and was told they left without saying bye.)

At about 4am Tammy noticed that her cat was missing.

Picture this...

We're all upstairs in Tammy's party room. BIG room, bathroom, closet, door to hallway closed, three windows open. A few people are playing cards, the music is blaring some old Journey song about small town boys and midnight trains. Me and Lora are cuddled up on the love seat looking at Tammy's CDs. Two girls are dancing and making out. Tammy opens the door to her closet and this damn cat comes flying out like it's crazy! It runs around the room at TOP SPEED! People jump up, knock the table and cards over, coke is spilled all over the place, girls that were dancing are now hitting the floor, Lora grabs my head and pushes it down in her lap to cover me up, the cat is bouncing off the walls and crashing into things and just destroying EVERYTHING...

Then it goes right out the third floor window.

And just like that it was gone and we haven't seen it since.

Tammy thinks that when the guys were up here someone must have fed her cat cocain or laced it's food or something. None of us know what effects it would have on him but since he's never acted this way before it was a logical guess.

We all went outside looking for him but there was nothing. As of last night the poor kitty still hasn't come home.

Lora and I got home just after sun up. We staggered in and she made it as far as the bed, still wearing her angel costume but without the wings. (We lost one of them somewhere.) I made it to the bathroom and depostited those chocolate potato chips all over the toilet, sink, trash can and floor. Plus what I washed off of my face the next day when I woke up.

The last thing I remember is pulling Lora's halo off and accidently pulling her hair. She mumbled something about having to keep one foot on the floor for some reason.

Thats my tale and now it is done. But LOOK! Sara thru the years!!!
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Just turned 15 I think.
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15 for sure.
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About the time I was having...problems.
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Just before moving out of my mom's house.
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Goofy looking bitch.
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Most recent.
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This one PROVES I keep getting uglier. :(
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This was when I had that episode a few months back and they found me hiding behind the stables.

Oh, here is the only pic I'm posting of my Lora-drawn faerie wings.
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Laterz all.

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