Never Fuck A Girl On The First Date

There is a way to do things and there is a way NOT to do things. The main side effect of the terrible disease known to the world as "Lesbianism," is the uncontrollable, unrelenting, unsomethinging urge to have sex, move in with one another, break out the turkey baster and start dropping kids before you actually bring up the subject of shaving her pussy. (Yeah, explicit, but that's why you read my blog, right?)

That is why Lora and I, mostly Lora, when deciding that we wanted to bring Emily into our relationship, took it veeeeeeery slow. She actually lived with us for two months before moving into our room. It was a long and thought-out process that even till today none of us has EVER had one shred of regret.


That brings me to the story of one Miss Elizabeth Sarah Raye.

Beth for short.

Let me start by saying that Lora and I are NOT seductress'. So the tale you're about to read, although it may sound like it, is NOT a tale of two EVIL Lesbians trying to take advantage of some poor defenseless STRAIGHT girl, okay!

Or maybe it is. Feh, who cares.

I'll quickly summarize the beginning then move onto the good stuff.

In order to celebrate the OFFICIAL opening of a FULLY FURNISHED L-Xtreme, described in detail below, and to thank all of the people who helped to build Brier Rose Court, we five threw a HUGE party. People that were invited to eat arrived about 6:pm and we broke bread together. then around 8:pm the party-goers started to arrive.

L-Xtreme is a WONDROUS sight to behold. The room measures 30'x 60' and has a polished wood dance floor that's 15'x20' right in the center surrounded by a shallow burgundy carpet. We've got our own DJ booth with a wide screen Blue Ray TV set up for movie channels and music channels.

Theres a short 8' long bar and eight small drink tables that each seat four people.There is also a steamtable for h'orderves. and an entrance to the main bathroom. (We had two stalls put in so there wouldn't be so long a wait for people that had to pee.) There's also two exits; one that leads into the Riley House and another that leads out to Blackchaple Place.

We don't have a disco ball hanging from the ceiling, as they suck and none of us would have it, but we did set up a set of strobe lights that can be activated at the DJ booth.

We also tried our best to make it feel more like someone's home, rather than a club or a bar, and added a couple sofas and a coffee station at one end plus some pretty edgy wall art that got LOTS of raves at the party.

We also got to put our new vanity room upstairs into full use as all six of us, (Jimmy Mann takes up a lot of fucking room.) piled in all at once and whored ourselves up real good.

The story starts at around 9:30pm, when SHE walked into the door. Yes, SHE, as you may have guessed, is Elizabeth Sarah Raye.

As soon as I saw her and David I headed straight for where Lora was at.

"You invited them?" I whispered into her ear.

"Did you think I wouldn't?" Came her reply with an EVIL Lesbian grin. "Go talk to her." She followed.

"Are you serious?" I asked after a brief pause.

She stepped close and put her face right up to mine, "Go...talk to her."

"Okay," was all I could say then I turned and walked away, kinda feeling like she had just sent me, her advance scout, out on a seduction mission.

Okay, I'm not shy at talking to girls, but I was feeling a wee bit leary here at what we were doing, truth to tell. After all, this was a woman that came to the community because she had had her heart broken. Was this REALLY an okay thing to do?

I made my way around behind her just to get close enough to smell her. I wanted to know if she wore perfume and what kind before I could approach her. As soon as I got close I could smell that she had just showered and didn't use anything except bath powders. (BONUS!)

I tapped her on the shoulder.

To be continued...



Supercalafragalisticexpialladocious, And Other Such Things

T'was a dark and stormy night. (No, really. It was.) Laura and Jesca were out which left just we three to snuggle up on the sofa in the family room and watch a couple movies by ourselves.

That's when the knock came at the door.

We weren't expecting company but of late that doesn't usually matter as we've had all sorts of unexpected visitors, most wanting to see the new house. This knock came around 9:pm and was a rapid but soft knock. That knock, made by long fingernails, was very familiar to us. Although it was unusual for him to stop by unannounced, as Jimmy Mann is the polite sort.

Lora headed down the stairs as Emily and I waited at the top, when the door opened we three saw what was one of the most pitiful sights we'd ever seen.

Jimmy Mann stood there soaked from head to toe wearing a bright blue dress and a cheap plastic see-through raincoat. His hair was stringing down into face and his eyeliner had dripped down his cheeks and at his feet were two raggedy old suitcases.

Emily's first words..."He has suitcases."

Then he spoke. But when he did it was in a voice I didn't recognize. He sounded like a man. A hurt, sad man, and not the prim and prissy queer we all knew and loved.

"Donny threw me out. I didn't have anywhere else to go."

Lora immediately took him by the arm, "It's okay. Guys..." she yelled up to us, "...bring his bags to the main bathroom.

The next words Emily spoke after Lora and Jimmy disappeared into the bathroom...

"Did you see that he has suitcases?"

A little later they came out and Jimmy was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. We all sat in the kitchen and drank coffee while he explained how he sucked some guy's dick in the McDonald's bathroom and Donny found out.
"Stop sucking guy's dicks. It's gross.," was my first response.

"It's addictive," he replied, which made Emily reach for her throat like she was gagging.

"Have you called your mom?" I asked before realizing I shouldn't have.

"What for." He said after a pause to light his cigarette, sounding even sadder than before.

"But look at you," Emily said. "You look like a man now. Maybe she'll be glad to see you."

"It's not the look, Emily, it's the ideal."

Long pause for thought...

"Well," Lora broke the silence, "You can stay in our guest cottage. It's just a small bedroom and a bathroom, but you're welcome to it. We can leave the backdoor unlocked for you, so when you want to come in and eat or watch tv, you can."

After another pause, "Thanks," Jimmy said. Then, "I'm gonna get a job. I just haven't been working because..."

To which Lora cut him off, "I know you will. Don't worry about it tonight. We have pizza and we're gonna watch 'Fingersmith.' You can snuggle with us."

"You wish," Jimmy said jokingly, and we all headed back upstairs.

The Next Night...

Saturday night is without doubt the most popular night at the community center. sometimes as many as 150 people show up. the pool area is open and most of the crowd stay outside. I like to stay inside where the central air is.

At about nine o' clock, Jimmy Mann walked in with Lora on his arm. (Lora at his arm would mean to everyone that Jimmy was a good friend of ours since hardly anyone there knew him.) He was dressed in yellow jeans and a pink top with a yellow scarf around his neck. Flamboyant, yes, but he had actually toned it down somewhat.

They joined me at the bar and the three of us drank wine. Not too long afterward Jimmy noticed something that interested him and asked...

"Who is that pretty blond haired boy standing over there?," he pointed.

Lora and I both looked and saw, much to our delight, David and his cousin Beth Raye.

"He's straight," I said.

"How do you know?" Jimmy asked.

I looked at Lora, then back at Jimmy and said, "As a matter of fact, I don't know." Then I put my face close to his, "He just came back from an extended stay in California," with as serious a look as I could muster.

"Oooooh, really. I hear things about the boys in California." Jimmy said. "Is that his sister?"

"Nope," I replied. "That's his cousin." Then put my face close to his again. "We're gonna seduce her."

"We are NOT going to seduce her," Lora said a little too loud.

Jimmy took one look at her and said, "Girlfriend you are so bad at lying. your eyes widen and your lips go straight and you look like you're just WAITING for somebody to bust you."

Right about then we hear someone yell, "Look out! Comin' through!," and saw Emily, dressed in full trench coat and fedora P.I. outfit, come pushing through the crowd are then run out the front door.

Not one of us said a word.

"So," Jimmy said, "This guy and his cousin; what are we going to do? Invite them both over to our place..."

"OUR place?" I interrupted.

"Oooookay." He said with a wee bit of an attitude. "YOUR place."

"Damn straight!" I said, then added, "And get a job!"

Just about then Danny, (Daniel Albert Poe.) walked up to our table with a pretty angry look on his face. "Where the fuck is Emily?"

Not one of us said a word.

"She just snuck up on me in the bushes when I was pissing and took my picture with her fuckin' cellphone!" (Boy, was he angry! LMFAO!)

It was very hard to hold back the laughter.

"Why were you pissing in the bushes when there's a perfectly good bathroom right over there?" I asked.

"I was outside, and didn't want to come inside, alright! Now what are YOu gonna do about this?" He said, pointing to Lora. "She's fuckin' STALKING me!"

Lora tried to answer, but ended up putting her head down into her hand and laughing. Danny didn't think it was very fuckin' funny and walked away.

We eventually caught up with Emily, she didn't get the picture of Danny's penis, and made her swear, right in front of Danny, that she would never, and I mean EVER, bother him again. (She was probably lying.) So we defused what might have been a messy sitch if Danny had actually decided to press charges, or worse, gone to Elder Malcolm.

Most of what Emily does is harmless fun, but sometimes it can be annoying. (And THAT sounded familiar! Hmmmmmmm?)

Later that night I was actually introduced to Beth Raye, but just in passing. We did, however, make eye contact TWICE during our short meeting. (Woohoo?)

More as it happens...