Supercalafragalisticexpialladocious, And Other Such Things
T'was a dark and stormy night. (No, really. It was.) Laura and Jesca were out which left just we three to snuggle up on the sofa in the family room and watch a couple movies by ourselves.
That's when the knock came at the door.
We weren't expecting company but of late that doesn't usually matter as we've had all sorts of unexpected visitors, most wanting to see the new house. This knock came around 9:pm and was a rapid but soft knock. That knock, made by long fingernails, was very familiar to us. Although it was unusual for him to stop by unannounced, as Jimmy Mann is the polite sort.
Lora headed down the stairs as Emily and I waited at the top, when the door opened we three saw what was one of the most pitiful sights we'd ever seen.
Jimmy Mann stood there soaked from head to toe wearing a bright blue dress and a cheap plastic see-through raincoat. His hair was stringing down into face and his eyeliner had dripped down his cheeks and at his feet were two raggedy old suitcases.
Emily's first words..."He has suitcases."
Then he spoke. But when he did it was in a voice I didn't recognize. He sounded like a man. A hurt, sad man, and not the prim and prissy queer we all knew and loved.
"Donny threw me out. I didn't have anywhere else to go."
Lora immediately took him by the arm, "It's okay. Guys..." she yelled up to us, "...bring his bags to the main bathroom.
The next words Emily spoke after Lora and Jimmy disappeared into the bathroom...
"Did you see that he has suitcases?"
A little later they came out and Jimmy was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. We all sat in the kitchen and drank coffee while he explained how he sucked some guy's dick in the McDonald's bathroom and Donny found out.
"Stop sucking guy's dicks. It's gross.," was my first response.
"It's addictive," he replied, which made Emily reach for her throat like she was gagging.
"Have you called your mom?" I asked before realizing I shouldn't have.
"What for." He said after a pause to light his cigarette, sounding even sadder than before.
"But look at you," Emily said. "You look like a man now. Maybe she'll be glad to see you."
"It's not the look, Emily, it's the ideal."
Long pause for thought...
"Well," Lora broke the silence, "You can stay in our guest cottage. It's just a small bedroom and a bathroom, but you're welcome to it. We can leave the backdoor unlocked for you, so when you want to come in and eat or watch tv, you can."
After another pause, "Thanks," Jimmy said. Then, "I'm gonna get a job. I just haven't been working because..."
To which Lora cut him off, "I know you will. Don't worry about it tonight. We have pizza and we're gonna watch 'Fingersmith.' You can snuggle with us."
"You wish," Jimmy said jokingly, and we all headed back upstairs.
The Next Night...
Saturday night is without doubt the most popular night at the community center. sometimes as many as 150 people show up. the pool area is open and most of the crowd stay outside. I like to stay inside where the central air is.
At about nine o' clock, Jimmy Mann walked in with Lora on his arm. (Lora at his arm would mean to everyone that Jimmy was a good friend of ours since hardly anyone there knew him.) He was dressed in yellow jeans and a pink top with a yellow scarf around his neck. Flamboyant, yes, but he had actually toned it down somewhat.
They joined me at the bar and the three of us drank wine. Not too long afterward Jimmy noticed something that interested him and asked...
"Who is that pretty blond haired boy standing over there?," he pointed.
Lora and I both looked and saw, much to our delight, David and his cousin Beth Raye.
"He's straight," I said.
"How do you know?" Jimmy asked.
I looked at Lora, then back at Jimmy and said, "As a matter of fact, I don't know." Then I put my face close to his, "He just came back from an extended stay in California," with as serious a look as I could muster.
"Oooooh, really. I hear things about the boys in California." Jimmy said. "Is that his sister?"
"Nope," I replied. "That's his cousin." Then put my face close to his again. "We're gonna seduce her."
"We are NOT going to seduce her," Lora said a little too loud.
Jimmy took one look at her and said, "Girlfriend you are so bad at lying. your eyes widen and your lips go straight and you look like you're just WAITING for somebody to bust you."
Right about then we hear someone yell, "Look out! Comin' through!," and saw Emily, dressed in full trench coat and fedora P.I. outfit, come pushing through the crowd are then run out the front door.
Not one of us said a word.
"So," Jimmy said, "This guy and his cousin; what are we going to do? Invite them both over to our place..."
"OUR place?" I interrupted.
"Oooookay." He said with a wee bit of an attitude. "YOUR place."
"Damn straight!" I said, then added, "And get a job!"
Just about then Danny, (Daniel Albert Poe.) walked up to our table with a pretty angry look on his face. "Where the fuck is Emily?"
Not one of us said a word.
"She just snuck up on me in the bushes when I was pissing and took my picture with her fuckin' cellphone!" (Boy, was he angry! LMFAO!)
It was very hard to hold back the laughter.
"Why were you pissing in the bushes when there's a perfectly good bathroom right over there?" I asked.
"I was outside, and didn't want to come inside, alright! Now what are YOu gonna do about this?" He said, pointing to Lora. "She's fuckin' STALKING me!"
Lora tried to answer, but ended up putting her head down into her hand and laughing. Danny didn't think it was very fuckin' funny and walked away.
We eventually caught up with Emily, she didn't get the picture of Danny's penis, and made her swear, right in front of Danny, that she would never, and I mean EVER, bother him again. (She was probably lying.) So we defused what might have been a messy sitch if Danny had actually decided to press charges, or worse, gone to Elder Malcolm.
Most of what Emily does is harmless fun, but sometimes it can be annoying. (And THAT sounded familiar! Hmmmmmmm?)
Later that night I was actually introduced to Beth Raye, but just in passing. We did, however, make eye contact TWICE during our short meeting. (Woohoo?)
More as it happens...