Welcome to my darkness. If you've come to condemn or are offended by the insanity at this blog then GO AWAY! Your God doesn't live here!
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9/9/05

Daymares:(

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Somewhere in the darkness I can hear a piano being played. Slow, haunting music that I've heard before but can't remember what it's called. "Thanksgiving," perhaps, but that could be wrong.

I've been having a reaccurring daymare lately. See, I was watching CNN t'other day and they were talking about the horrible conditions at that sports stadium in New Orleans. Then they showed a picture of an old lady, in her wheelchair, covered by a blanket.
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She was dead. Died of thirst or starvation or maybe neglect, and left there on the sidewalk.

It's been haunting me lately. Of all the dark and morbid thoughts in my head, it's THAT one that won't go away. Even more disturbing; I've been imagining myself along with my dead grandma being stuck in the attic whilst flood waters rise ever so higher around us. Finally the waters are so high that I have to climb out on the roof but my grandma can't come with me because she's too old and I'm too week to help her.
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Grandma has been dead for years (But still won't go away.) and I never liked her much in the first place. She was very mean to me and my sisters after my dad died. I guess I could go over all the psycological reasons for my imaginings but that would be boring. I'll just wonder to myself, "why now?"

I have 8 messages at the Benbo and haven't looked at any of them. I haven't even checked my email in days. Depression sucks.
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Five Harry Potter ebooks!
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Book 1 - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone 1.0 MB
Book 2 - Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets 842.8 KB
Book 3 - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban 1.3 MB
Book 4 - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire 1.8 MB
Book 5 - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 3.9 MB

http://ebook.mafia.or.id/index.php?dir=Harry%20Potter/&AutoIndex=29113319100f09f8a0aaf63c16fc41b3

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MORE BUFFY STUFF!
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Lydia Chalmers'Thesis on William the Bloody!
http://www.channelingboards.com/SpikeThesis/index.html
You can download it to your comp by right clicking then choose "save target as..." on the ling below.
http://www.channelingboards.com/SpikeThesis/spikethesis.pdf

Buffy and Angel unaired pilots
http://www.buffy.nu/article.php3?id_article=3590
http://www.benhen.com/pilots/

A FANTASTIC tribue video for "Chosen," the last episode of Buffy. (Spoilers, if you haven't seen season 7.)
Right click, save target as...
http://splitends.zftp.com/ChosenReflections.WMV

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4 Comments:

Blogger rogerpriebe said...

hope your feeling better sweetie

love ya
hugs
roger

9:19 AM  
Blogger Moonspider said...

hey, mind if i sit next to you on this whole depression thing dear

I've been feeling down this whole week =(
just too many things playign with my mind, resulting in my harts playing triks on me aswell

Just been feeling down lately---hope im not going mental again

I have too many thing on my mind

:hugs:

but i just hope you get better dear
seeing you happy is the number one priority

HUGS again

8:09 PM  
Blogger DungeonMasterJim said...

Is anybody having a good week?

My brother gets to I.D. the body of his friend last week. Then he gets into a verbal confrontation this week at work with a fucker that decides to make fun of the dead friend asking my brother if that was his gay lover (both my brother and his friend are straight) and now my brother may lose his job because he blew up at this fucker.

Another brother is trying to sign away custody of his daughter that's so brainwashed by her fucked up mother that they are trying like hell to get trumpted up child abuse charges against him.

And I find out that same 11 year old niece has been stealing cash from me and just got me for $150 this week alone.

DM Jim - looks for room on the drepession bench

9:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the world is full of pain and horror and you seem to carry it with you. dont let it drown you, let go, please. i was drowning in the worlds missery too. i have a lot to tell you about my week in hospital and how the police ended up taking me there. i'll mssg you on myspace.com

take care
much love

Jessica xx

8:08 AM  

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