Ground Rules For Nude Lesbian Oil Wrestling! (And other stuff.)

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"Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes" ~

Rule Number One; Lesbians must be nude and covered in Wesson oil!
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Last Saturday night...

The only actual time we talk about turning our threesome into a foursome is on nights we lock the doors and prep up for NUDE LESBIAN OIL WRESTLING! We can have some great singles matches along with exciting triple-threat and handicap matches, but no tag-team matches.

For tag matches we need two teams of two and, even tho I've suggested asking our SEXAY friend Christy to join us; idea rebuffed STERNLY by Lora, whenever we decide to have a wrestling night we jokingly throw out names on who we would like to be our fourth.

I always throw out my net girls names (Jessica, Angelle, Tia, Haze, Moonspider) but we usually center on celebs. Natalie Portman is our all time fave. I'm currently infatuated with Piper Perabo, Lora is a Kiera knightly FrEaK and Emily has the HAWTS for, don't laugh, the Olsen twins. (She also has this thing for Sailor Mars but she being a TOON kills that.)

Our matches are always more for fun than competition tho sometimes we can get carried away. Lora is the strongest but I have the SKILLS! (Fourteen years of watching doesn't make me a wrestler but it does make me knowledgeable in the moves and holds.) Emily is a big WHIMP and is pretty easy to beat.

Rule Number Two; The mat must be made of several layers of comforters and quilts spread out on the living room floor, covered in a thick plastic sheet, with pillows propped up around the edges.
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S'okay, we had the mat set, wesson oil next to it, Lora and Emily were upstairs getting ready and I was makin' ready with the SLAMMERS! (That's a double shot of any brand snapps, pour in a double shot of 7up, cover glass and SLAM it down on the counter then drinkitREALLYfast!)

Music is ready. (YES, we really have ring music for each of us.) I play Ric Flair's theme for Lora because she ALWAYS keeps her robe on till the match starts so... I, of course, am repped by the Hardy Boyz music, and Emily likes starting the match to Buffy's theme. (The nerd!)
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Then there's a knock at the door.

Whenever we have our "GIRLZ NITE IN! Get fuckin' LOST!" sign on the door very few people will bother to knock. Actually, only my little sister would bother to knock. So I go to the door, crack it slightly, then jerk it open and drag her in, slamming the door and looking out of breath just to panic her so she'd ask...

"What's the matter?" she asked.
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I walked over and took her by the shoulders, noticing that she fucking still gets TALLER and I never have, and said, "We need a ref."

She turned and looked into the living room just as Lora, wearing her fluffy pink robe, and Emily, thong and smile only, baby! YEAH!, came down the stairs.

When Emily saw my little sis you could just barely here her let out a slight, "yay!", cause she's just CRUSHIN' all over her and doesn't hide it at all. "TAG-TEAM!" She yells.

"Laura's on MY team," I say JOKINGLY before my sister can object.

"Oh...POO! Why can me and Laura be partners," Emily asks.

Rule Number Three; To win you must either pin your opponent's shoulders to the mat for a three count or get them in a position where you can eat them out. (And that's a lot fuckin' harder than it sounds. Damn struggling, oily lesbians! GRRRR!)
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"If she begged I might let her do me," I AGAIN JOKINGLY said, "but there's no way I'm eating out her dirty pussy!"

Which Laura took as her definite cue to leave and we three to begin our match. Which brings us to...

Rule Number Four; NO MEN! (Unless he's the Ref)
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Since I don't see any stripped shirts out there...

Other stuff...
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School is fun. We three don't have all the same interests so we're not taking all the same classes, but we're getting to be KNOWN. We've decided to keep our relationshp our own business and nobody else's so when people ask we're "roommates."

Emily HATES sitting at home doing nothing. I've taken over her duties at the store but she comes by several times a day and hangs out at the center with Lora, too. Emily is a "people person" and being at home doing nothing isn't her style, but she needs rest still.

I've been riding a bicycle to get around. :( SUX!

But it keeps me VERY close to home. To get just to the edge of town is an uphill ride and I usually make it about two-thirds the way and have to get off and push.

My sister has quit her blogging. Emily is getting online more often but I haven't the time to properly instruct her on blogging, myspace, ect., so she just surfs and listens to music. I just checked my email and have like, TWENTY messages from her all in the last few days, lmfao!

She still asks about getting an Internet girlfriend so if any Internet girls reading this want a "friend" just leave a message and a pic and she MIGHT get in touch. (Yes, she asked me to put that.) She sits here at home for HOURS alone and perhaps a Net friend would be good for her.

That's about all. I'm going to cuddle up with my girls who are watching HBO and drinking wine so g'nite all.
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DungeonMasterJim said...

Is there an on-line application form for the referee postion? I couldn't find one anywhere.

And for some reason, I'm totally amused by the thought of Sara on a bicycle. I can't recall during my days of selling bikes at Toys R Us there being a 10 speed with with 20 ich diameter wheel so I'm going to guess Sara rides a BMX bike.

: P

Kent said...

I'm mugging a Foot Locker employee tonight to get hold of a striped shirt.

*ahem* but seriously folks...

Glad you're having a great time in school. I'm weighing options right now, but I'm pretty much decided on going back for a graphic design/marketing double major.

Also, I just got back from California this week and I had a great time.

DungeonMasterJim said...

Oh, Sara, I forgot to mention that I'm blogging semi-regularly now. You might want to check out my blog.


Angelle said...

I like Sailor Mars too! Lol, sounds like great fun. E-mail me soon. ^_^


Dougy said...

G'day Sarah,

Thanks for visitng my blog, glad to hear you are likeing Doctor Who. If you still haven't seen the series finaly, well, you just prepair yourself! It's a right corker!

Here in Australia we are almost done with season 2 and it's almost as much fun a season one, there are some brilliant eps in S2!

Well, must dash, keep up the awesome blogging!


Sara's Stuff! said...

Jim; If, and I say IF, we ever need a ref and you're around I'll call. You look cute in that pic. And, no, it's not a bmx kiddie bike, it's a 24" mountain bike that I got when I was 15. It was oink but I spray painted it black so now it looks REALLY crappy. I hate it.

Kent; BABY! Uni bound, eh. Tell me more. Email me.

Jim; Got my message?

Angelle; I like Sailor Mercury myself. Something about nerdy little Amy that's just sooooo sweet.

Dougy; Yep, saw the season finale but HATED the ending. I do hope the second season has the other guy returning. The new guy looks kinda...GAY.

JMO :\


Dougy said...

Wow, I LOVED it. The Doctor has regenerated, he won't be comeing back. David Tennant does a brilliant job as the Doctor though. Season 2 starts a bit weak, but give it untill epidoe 2 "Tooth and Claw" that isa brilliant ep!

Moonspider said...

can i be the diva?

Jon_dye said...

but Sara if I'm the ref, I'll ring the bell ring the fucking bell