12/8/04

.....

Lora kept asking me if anything was wrong today. I told her no, but my head won't stop hurting. It's been hurting for days now and my concentration is nill. I having a hard time thinking straight. Annalara came by this morning because we were supposed to go into town together but I don't remember agreeing to this. I went anyway and just pretended I had forgotten.

I felt like taking a double dose of my meds this morning. I just wanted today to be normal. I didn't want to hear the humming sound thats been ringing in my ears since Sunday. I didn't want my head to hurt all day AGAIN, and I wanted to enjoy the day with Lora. Instead I spent most of the day sitting in the attic doing absolutely nothing except staring at the walls. Lora came home and found me there and asked me if I was feeling okay. She can always tell when it's bad for me.

I try to hide it from her because I don't want her to worry but she knows. She's been dealing with it for three years now. I'm so worried she'll just get so sick of me that she will leave me for someone she can have a normal relationship with. I would die without her. I'm lost enough as it is, without Lora I think i would definately be heading back to Newman Clinic for an extended stay.

I need to sleep now. Hopefully it will make my headache go away.

More later.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well, for once ,when you care for someone alot, you never let anything get between, in the way of anything.

She cares for you greatly and show how much love is there.
She wont get tired of it,because she loves you so much. As long as you are able to tell her that the time she's hagin with you means alot to you, and that she means alot just being there in general is enoguh to show that you care.

She's doing all of this to show she realy cares about you dear, And i don't see any signs of getting tired in that sweety. She realy cares and is concerned to you and how you feel emotionaly, physicaly and mentaly.

Love is all you need
it's the greatest weapon we have
And it makes feel more alive than anything




MOONSPIDER (bendis board lover)