Welcome to my darkness. If you've come to condemn or are offended by the insanity at this blog then GO AWAY! Your God doesn't live here!
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7/19/07

That's the way the wall comes crumbling down down down...



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The forthcoming tale is one filled with disturbing thoughts, actions and images. It's a tale of lust and betrayal and is in NO WAY conductive of nOrMaL lesbian behavior.

Late Saturday night; Lora went to bed early as we three were all still slightly hungover from making merry the night before with BOIZ. (Boiz named Gabe and Danny, my cousins.)They brought liqueur and attempted to ply us into relenting to their terrible desires. (They wanted Lora to sell them a sack of weed from her stash because nobody has any at the moment.)

Failing in their quest (You do NOT get Lora to sell her smoke.) they stayed, got drunk, got high, and managed to get thoroughly TROUNCED in Monopoly AND then Spades.
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My sister managed to stay out very late. She's usually in the house or at least across the street at the community center by 9:pm. Last night she came strolling in way after midnight. She didn't say where she had been and, she being 18 now, we didn't ask.

Saturday Jesca called. She asked for Laura and from the way she sounded, she hadn't talked to my sister recently. Saturday night, just before midnight, my sister headed out the door without saying a word. Emily and I were very surprised by this.

We looked at each other and I said, "Methinks something...is afoot."
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To which her eyes grew wide and she looked down at my feet symbolizing that she had no idea what that meant.

"Come on," said I, and went into my TICKLE TRUNK to look for something that I hadn't used in YEARS but knew it was still there. I took it out, shook it for dust mites, checked to make sure the binoculars, notebook and pencil were still it the pockets, then slipped my "Harriet the Spy" coat on, ready to find out just what my sister was doing.

My sidekick and I (Emily HATES being called sidekick.) set out quietly stalking our prey. We crossed Adam's Field and came within viewing distance of Jesca's house just in time to see her and Laura walking down the street towards the pumpkin patch. (Again I say this, it is THE most sincere pumpkin patch in the world. I have went there MANY times telling TRUTHS just to ensure it's sincerity.)
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Sidekick and I stayed just inside the treeline and far enough back so as not to be heard, but close enough to insure we didn't lose them. As I thought, they headed right to Hopskin's Hill on the bluffs. It's the highest spot in the community and has a beautiful view of the Mississippi River and Quincippi Island.

It's also the perfect place for fucking on HAPPY days or breaking up on SAD days. Sidekick and I were to found out that today was going to be a sad day. We managed to get close enough to where they had stopped to talk to hear...

"I thought you said you loved me." Jesca said in a sad, quiet voice, looking at my sister with almost tears in her eyes.
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"I do. I love being with you," my sister replied, keeping a slight distance. "I just think we should, I don't know...explore our options or something."

Jesca didn't look at my sister. Instead standing almost turned away from her, but not enough to say she was angry. Just hurting. After a few seconds of silence...

"Don't you want to explore this? See what else is out there? We might even find a third for us," my sister said half joking, taking a step closer to Jesca in an attempt to lighten things up. (It's a BAD Poegirl habit.)
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Jesca looked at her then, "I don't wanna be a lesbian," then looked away again. "I wanted to be with YOU."

A few more seconds of silence and my sister comes up with a GENIUS thing to say. *add sarcasm from Sara*

"We can still be together."

To which Jesca replied, "As long as you get to fuck other people, right."

"No," my sister said matter-of-factly.

"Just other girls, right!" Jesca said, almost angry now but not really.
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It was about this time Sidekick and I started whisper arguing over whether we should leave or not. I was pretty much finished and didn't want to hear any more of this heart breaking convo, but Emily wanted all the details.

By the time we got back into what they were talking about, Jesca was agreeing to keep seeing my sister while my sister saw other girls. Laura even asked her if she wanted to come back to her room and stay the night. Jesca turned her down but they left arm in arm.

Sidekick and I just sat there for the longest time wondering if that girl had lost her fucking mind. Emily even made the comment that will stay etched in my soul forever. Right outta the blue, as Emily is often wont to do, she says...
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"Your sister must have some really good pussy."

I immediately gave her the squinty-eyed MEAN look, stuck my finger in her face and said, "Don't you ever...EVER, talk about my sister's pussy goodness to me again. THAT is just gross!"

I got up and walked away. I heard Sidekick murmur behind me, "I don't think it would be gross."

TODAY!
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They're putting in a community pool behind the center this week. So the center is pretty much closed due to people not wanting to listen to the construction noise. Because there was nothing for me to do, and I kept getting in people's way, Lora sent me home early.

I'm usually not home till 3-4pm. Today I got home around 1:pm and went straight to our bedroom and got online. After a few minutes I heard Laura in her room. She wasn't alone and I naturally assumed it was Jesca.

I knocked on her door to ask if she were going to be home for dinner so I'd know how much to cook. She opened the door just enough to stick her head out and, after a few minutes of chit-chat, I saw a very distinct head of RED HAIR walk by behind Laura.

I stopped in mid-sentence and I know my eyes grew wider than they ever had before.
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"What?" My sister asked, not knowing what I had just seen.

It only took a few seconds to figure out who's hair style it was. "Is that Tonya?" I asked.

My sister hesitated at first then, "You know her?"
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"Lesbians in a small town," I replied, "We all know each other."

Neither of us said another word. I just turned and walked downstairs, across the street to the community center, and sat there in a quiet corner pretending to read a newspaper while trying to figure out if I should talk to Lora or handle this "my sister is a lesbian whore" sitch all by myself.

I'll let you know this Friday what happened.

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~Sara<3

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Here's the only interview I know of in which Tegan and Sara discuss coming out.

Rockin' Out Interview: Tegan and Sara's Tegan Quin
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Tegan and Sara are identical twin singer-songwriters from Canada. The duo garnered mainstream attention after the White Stripes covered 'Walking With a Ghost,' off the sisters' 2004 album 'So Jealous,' along with cuts on both the 'Grey's Anatomy' and 'Veronica Mars' soundtracks. Tegan and Sara will release their new album, 'The Con' -- co-produced by Death Cab for Cutie's Chris Walla -- on July 24.

"when I get up" and "Darling"
BESTEST VID! Very, very cool vid with two great songs, some witty banter between Tegan and Sara, Tegans sad story, and a glimps at how close the two really are.


What age did you begin to question your sexuality?

I never actually questioned my sexuality. I had a lot of gay friends. Sara started dating a girl when we were like, 15, and I feel like I always had this natural attraction for girls. I didn't feel torment or inner struggle. I was still kind of happy to date boys, too. I was much more interested in girls than boys, but it wasn't until I was maybe 16 that I actively dated a girl. I didn't feel an instinct to tell everyone. I was definitely a little more reserved, but people were very experimental around me, so I didn't attach anything negative to it.

Superstars with Hamster Hearts

Who was the first person who you came out to?

I don't remember ever having to do the whole "I have to tell you something -- I'm gay" thing. Sara kind of did all of the work for me because she dated girls, got found out and had to tell our mom. Our mom freaked out and then kind of came around. I just watched the whole thing and was like, "By the way, this is my girlfriend." The damage was done. Everything had been figured out. A lot of my friends in Vancouver were like, "It's so weird how you never really came out." But there are so many assumptions about twins. Sara was gay, so people weren't weirded out when I turned out to be gay, too.

Tegan and Sara talk to people on the street about Xtina
(Sara is the one with black hair.)


Did you and Sara talk about any of this to each other?

No. I mean, we're weird now. Recently, Sara touched my arm and was like, "I found out that touching you was like touching me. So this is what it's like to touch me." And I was like, "Ew, what? Do you want to do acid? Relax." And she was like, "It's just so weird!" We're not really comfortable having those kinds of talks. And, at 14, the last thing I was going to do was invite Sara in for a chat about sexuality.

Sara and I have always had this really weird thing where we don't even really like to hug. There's unspoken things between twins. We were never the gabby, gossipy girls in our room talking about girls or boys. We were extremely independent of one another. We never really talked about relationships or anything, so in our late teens we didn't get along with each other. We had the same friends, we played in a band -- and that was when we really started dating girls, but we really didn't talk about any of those things. We talk about girls now. But I didn't feel a burning desire to share it with anyone then. If anything, I felt like I wanted to keep it a secret because it was so amazing and I didn't want it to get ruined.

Where does the good go

What was your first relationship like?

It was pretty great. We were young. I was having a moment of extreme nostalgia recently and I was like, "Oh, I guess there was a lot of drama that I don't remember," but of course there was drama with both of us traveling. We didn't say things like, "I want you to be my girlfriend, I want to marry you or I want to be with you forever." It was like, "I want to be friends forever." And now she's straight -- she never dated girls after me. I was just excited to be there and have what we had. It was very intense. We spent a lot of time together, and it was my first feeling of being in love.

Walking With a Ghost Video

Are your girlfriends welcomed by your family?

Oh, yeah. Initially, my mom was definitely upset with Sara. She was like, "You're a musician and now you're gay. You're going to have a lot of challenges." Every mother's dream is when they have baby girls, that they'll get married and whatever. But my mom later came around. She said, "You're happy and that's all that matters. If you can't find the person you're going to be with in a man, I would want you find them whoever they are."

I don't remember coming up against any resistance in terms of my family. My mom kind of made it her own and told everyone. She was like, "Don't you want to tell your aunt and uncle?" [laughs]. My grandmother passed away a few years ago, and at the funeral my mom was like, "This is Tegan's girlfriend. They live together and they love each other." And my 88-year-old aunt was like, "Oh, that's great! Beautiful friend!" I was like, "Mom, does Aunt Stella really need to know?" My grandfather just likes to flirt with our girlfriends. He likes that there are hot girls around.

I think, on some level, that some of our older family members are silently glad their children aren't gay. We're still at a point where it's not the easiest thing in the world for everyone. It's not something you wish on people -- to be different. But at some point it won't matter. It doesn't in my world but I'm a musician and I'm alternative. It's a lot easier for me.

Born in the 80s Tour

The two of you aren't strangers to a number of labels. Does the "gay" one feel the most restrictive, professionally?
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Not really. Initially, nobody asked anything. We didn't have to talk about it. You're a new musician, so no one gives a shit about who you're dating. When we put out our second album, so much focus was on us being twins, girls, gay, Canadian. I was like, "Holy shit, that's a lot of labels!" We spent the last two records trying to shake off the limitations. But I didn't think the gay label was the biggest; I thought being a girl in a rock band was. They were always comparing us to other female musicians who we didn't sound like. I feel like I put up more of a resistance to that. When people were writing that we were a Lilith Fair band that sounds like Alanis Morissette, I was like, "Really? That's all you can come up with?"
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The gay thing doesn't bother me. I think it's important to our demographic. Our fan base is getting really young, and it's important to me to make sure that we're spreading a very honest message. I'm glad there's no part of us that has been reluctant to share who we are. There's still so much homophobia, sexism and racism in younger generations, and yet these kids love us anyway. I think we have a very progressive message. I haven't seen [gay] as a limitation.

Sing Along: When you were mine

Right. It's another detail, just like your hair is brown.

Exactly. I mean, there are moments when you're at an event -- if someone's like, "So, do you have a boyfriend?" In those situations, I think of what I'm going to say. But when I wake up, it's certainly not the first thing on my mind. I'm not like, "I'm gay!" I'm usually like, "I'm starving!"

The Con, available July 24th


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http://teganandsara.com

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Spiders Save Teens From Fire!

HEMLOCK, Mich. - A woman who hates spiders is crediting them with helping save her from a house fire. Danielle Vigue, 18, says she awoke early Tuesday to find spiders in her room, and started killing them. When more showed up, she says she went across the hall and got into bed with her 15-year-old sister, Lauren.
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"At first there were five, they were all around the light fixture," Danielle Vigue told The Saginaw News. "I hate spiders, they freak me out."

A fire, the newspaper said, apparently was smoldering in the attic of the home about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.

A few hours later, Vigue's 48-year-old mother, Debra, and 8-year-old sister, Shelby, smelled smoke, and flames greeted the family when they opened the door to the room Danielle Vigue had earlier left.
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"I will never kill another spider again," she told WNEM-TV in Saginaw.

Richland Township Fire Chief Gary Wade, a 30-year veteran of the Saginaw County department, was surprised by Vigue's story.

"I've never heard of spiders saving someone from a fire before," Wade said. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070718/ap_on_fe_st/odd_lifesaver_spiders%3B_ylt%3DAs4KcYXOZ5dkRrSBmkQoVfbtiBIF

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http://www.majorspoilers.com/

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http://www.ontheissues.org/default.htm

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http://www.somagirls.tv/

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4 Comments:

Blogger DungeonMasterJim said...

Woo-Hoo! My computer is up and running again!

A Harriet the Spy coat? (snicker, snicker). You are totally awesome Sara.

Sounds like your sister is going to/is already casuing a stir around town. I don't envy you.

Oddities! Where is Oddities?!

6:45 AM  
Blogger XSaraXPoeX said...

Bout FUCKIN' time! I've missed your comments. :(

~Sara<3

3:46 PM  
Blogger Moonspider said...

none of us are truly normal...if we were normal, then there be no drama, faults, characteristics that make us complete individuals..

whether we like it or not, it's the complexity of us both mentally and emotional that create building blocks that allow us to see how capable an individual is and how unique we really are from one another



anywayz, much love always

7:34 PM  
Blogger XSaraXPoeX said...

You're so hot when you talk like that. :p

8:25 PM  

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