Application For An Internet Girlfriend!

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"Well, we could grind our enemies into talcom powder, but gosh, we did that last night." ~Xander Harris.

As you know, I've been teaching Emily about the wonderful world of "ONLINE!" While Lora sleeps, we sit up most of the night and explore the Net. (Meaning that if you leave a message for me at my blog in the middle of the night I'll most likely get it right away.) Well, the subject eventually came up (As I'm sure it comes into the thoughts of EVERYONE who's been online. Don't lie and say it hasn't.) of INTERNET GIRLFRIENDS!
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"Ever have one?" She asked me. "Of course!" I said. "I've actually had three."

"What does Lora say about it?"

I explained that Lora was fine with it as long as it stays what it started out to be. An INTERNET relationship. I even told her about the Internet marriage I'd planned and even announced at the Bendis Board till the girl I was to marry mysteriously dissappeared. (Lora denies knowledge of this.)

"How's it diff from any Net 'ship?" She wondered.
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"The same way they're different in the physical world. Except there's no touching."

"Oh, like what we have," she joked, and has been making these kind of jokes since we agreed to the BIG BED. It's her way of releaving the giddiness she's feeling having to wait till this weekend before she moves in with us.

Changing subject; The reason Emily has to wait till the weekend, and she knows this, is because Lora and I once agreed that our love was going to be NEVERENDING! She is my ALWAYS and I am her FOREVER. We don't share "our" bed. So the new bed is a symbol of a new relationship and Emily has become our HEART, with me as the SOUL and Lora the MIND. (I wanted to be the MIND but the others sternly objected.) We three together make up the body.


"Can I try it?" She asks.



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Currently there's only one comp connected and running in the house. And I get very little time to spend on it now compaired to what I use to have. The ideal of her sitting on it for hour after hour with an online girlfriend hits me hard.

Confusion begins to set in. The word "stab" comes to mind often over the next several seconds.

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I LOVE the word STAB!

Just say it HARD AND FAST and listen to it closely...



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Where was I?

Okay, I suddenly tackeled Emily and threw her down on the floor then began jumping up and down on her screaming, "NO! IT'S MY COMPUTER! MINE! MINE! MINE!"
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"Sara?" She said, snapping me out of the fantasy.

I gave her the squinty eyed MEAN look! She turned back to the computer and quietly said, "Nevermind." So right then I felt like crap. Greed NEVER pays when it's at the expence of someone you love.

Since my little sister has began using my step-dad's comp recently we can't take that one and my lap top made me mad one day so it's worthless, our only option is to buy her a comp when we go to get the BIG BED!

When that happens, next week, Emily will be starting her very own blog, getting a DarkStarlings and Myspace profile, AND MAKING AN APPLICATION TO ADVERTISE FOR AN INTERNET GIRLFRIEND!
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Side note; I'm thinking that she started thinking about this due to our reading a certain someone's blog whom we're both pretty fascinated with to the MAX!
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Also, just because Emily is moving into our room doesn't mean we're going to start having sex right away. We're not MEN, after all. It's more of a "being together" thing other than a sex thing.

Just thought I'd mention that.
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Though when it does happen I'll make sure to write up a detailed, and probably VERY pornographic, account of the EVENT!

Last thought of the night. Emily's Buffy experiance is nearing the end of season two and, YES!, She's LOVING it! We've actually been talking about Buffy during the off period at school in the annex building. French vanilla cappichino and Buffy for lunch daily.

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LOOK! Tara and Kennedy!


kronnax said...

I once ago have a online girlfriend, i like it for some time, but then some girl caught my eye, and I soon forgot my beautiful online lover. But what I gained with that experience was something fresh, as that I actually encourage Emily to get one. Hell, I encourage to anyone endeavour an experience like that.

But getting down into your post I actually do not agreed with this:
"Also, just because Emily is moving into our room doesn't mean we're going to start having sex right away. We're not MEN, after all. It's more of a "being together" thing other than a sex thing."
I've slept with some female friends of mine, and we did not have sex. Don't get me wrong I love having sex, but there's time and moments for everything in my opinion. And as much I like to get laid (and believe me I like it a lot) I do not want to destroy some friendships relations that I have just because we had sex.

I know that isn’t a very Male thing to do, but I’m just like that. The ones that like me like I am like me no matter what. The ones who don’t, who cares?

On a final note, I just installed an online Portuguese to English web translator in my Blog. It’s not very good, but it was actually the best that I found on the net.

Agric said...

A TV appointment for you:
CNN Saturday, March 18 at 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. ET.

If you follow The Oil Drum link you'll find some comments from me, but not related to the CNN program.

I re-discovered an excellent current affairs blog today, too:
Especially impressive was this post by Juan Cole, which may surprise you:

(I'm gonna post this at Laura's blog too, since you'll probably ignore it)

Angelle said...

*tee hee* Wonder who it was...^_^!

I've had an online girlfriend before. Fun!! I like the word fun just like you like the word stab. Hahaha!

I just updated my DS today. I think you'll like this one...*smiles*

Agric said...

Ooops, error in my post above, the link to the Juan Cole article is:

Moonspider said...

oh boy! lard!
lard is what gruel is to poor british little kids

Laura May said...

Since you stopped answering your phone will you please tell Lora to call me.

Laura May said...

I broke up with Ronnie.

In case you care. :(


kubiak said...

The closest thing I've ever had to an internet girlfriend is jon_dye.

I feel like I'm missing out on something now.

Good to you're back, Sara! I've really missed you.

TiaxMarie said...

I had an internet g/f once... and I'm attracted to the penis monster! I strongly encourage Emily to get one. It's a deep feeling that she may not get to experiance in her life, and it's a great lesson for the future and with other relatioships! I miss you Sara! I'm glad everything is working out well with Emily and Lora. I'm happy that you are happy. Still no offspring but still trying, I'll send you a long email when I get time. Love you.

Tia Marie

Sara's Stuff! said...

Kronnax; Thankx. I bet Lora ten bucks that the first guy that posted would dispute my "man thing" comment. I WON!

Agric; Sorry I wasn't online for that Saturday.

I do LOVE smirkingchimp.com, tho!

Angelle; You know it, sexy. I'm commenting on your DS blog as soon as I finish here.

Moonspider; You were in my dream Saturday night. I'll write about it in my next blog post.

Kubiak; Where have you been? I hardly see you online anymore. :(

Tia, my love. I know you're having a full life and do't have Internet access so don't worry about me. Just take care of YOU! You have my home address so if you want to write me I'll send you back a looooong letter. :)

Just take care of you!!!!

Laura; I made you a blog so you wouldn't get involved in my ONLINE life. Don't I see you enough!!!

The weekend...WAS FANTASTIC!!! Post about HOT LESBIAN SEX coming soon!

DungeonMasterJim said...

Help Sara!

I think I've fallen for Mickey James!!!

She's hot and she can wrestle in stilleto heeled boots!! What more could a guy ask for?!!

Kinda cringed at her nose dripping blood though.

Sara's Stuff! said...

Didn't you think that BLOODY KISS was HAWT!?!

Yep, I'm turning into a Mickie James fan myself. ;p


kronnax said...

No comments on Mickey James!!!

kubiak said...

Hey, Sara!

I've been sort of busy lately so my online tme has been limited. Work, family, friends, it's been one thing after another. I still try to make by here at least once in a while (Daily when I can!) and check to see how you're doing. You've always got something interesting to say.

I really miss you on the Bendis Board. It's not the same without you there.

Angelle said...

-Hi. Sorry if it may seem a little trivial for me to say so. But I'm so bored. How's it going??

Moonspider said...

dream about me......
am i part of a dancing gang?

Sara's Stuff! said...

Kubiak; I still visit the Bendis Board but rarely ever post. Most people ignore me there for some reason. (Even Moonspider has only hugged me ONCE in recent memory.)

I hardly ever see you online there either. :(

Moonspider; Read the comments at your LJ.

Angelle!!! NOT trivial. I love hearing from you. After you answer THAT question from the email I just sent you I'll send you back a long email so hopefully we can get to be closer friends. :) You definately have caught my attention!


TiaxMarie said...

Sara, I am taking care of me. I have internet now! I made my husband buy me some and I check your blog 5 times a day to see if you've posted. I would LOVE to write you a nice long snail mail letter, but your address is over at my mom's house which is forever away, and I never get over there anymore. I did write a little note in my own blog though, I think, I dont really know how to use this thing, anyway, I miss you Sara love.